tantrum

Cassidy had this hilariously un-called for tantrum the other day. I don't know why she thinks that stuff like this will work to get her what she wants. But we all got a good laugh.

Baby Ethan is learning so much. His "wave" might not look like one to you, but believe me, it shows much improvement! And I love his drunken "no" headshake.

how to order a pizza

I received this email that said, "102 manières bizarres de commander une pizza par téléphone..." which is "102 bizarre ways to order a pizza over the phone." I shared some of them with my French class, and they thought it was hilarious! My translations aren't the best. Somehow French jokes don't always make sense in English, but I thought I would share the highlights:

1. Push the buttons on your phone randomly, and then ask the person to stop doing that.
2. Order a Big Mac
3. Before hanging up, say, “Forget we ever had this conversation.”
4. Say that you've got a competitor on the other line and they're offering you a lower price.
5. Just give them your address and say, “Surprise me!” then hang up.
6. Don't tell them which pizzas you want. Spell the names.
7. Say hello, wait five seconds, and then act like it was they who called you.
8. Give your order very deliberately, like you planned it out. Then when they ask if you want drinks, panic.
9. Tell them you are lonely and just want to chat.
10. Change your accent every three seconds.
11. Act like you are old-time friends with the person on the phone.
12. Try and sell them a pizza.
13. Order ten different very complicated pizzas. Then cancel the order, explaining how you moved and you forgot to change your speed-dial.
14. Hold the phone far away from your face while giving your order. Then, at the end, bring it close to your mouth and yell, “Good-bye!”
15. Ask the person to verify that your pizza is indeed dead.
16. Ask to see the menu.
17. Ask if the delivery boy knows how to repair a broken water line
18. When they give you suggestions, tell them you won't be swayed.
19. Tell the person taking the order that this relationship of yours cannot go much further.
20. Give them your fax number and ask them to fax you the pizzas.
21. Demand to speak to a manager. Then give the manager your order, as usual.
22. Record a loud thunder clap and play it during your conversation. Scream, “Aaaah!” and hang up.
23. Ask if they have payment plans for the pizzas.
24. Ask them to deliver you the pizzas without a box so you can get a discount.
25. Ask if the box is edible.
26. Ask them to guess what you want.
27. Ask for a round box, so your pizza won't slide.
28. Tell them, “You'd better hurry. I just gave the same order to the competition. The first one here wins!”
29. Ask the deliverer to come on foot, to cut down on pollution.
30. Ask if it is possible to pre-order a pizza for next Christmas Eve.

Disclaimer: These pranks are to be laughed at and not performed.

I am in no way urging or condoning any reader of this blog to engage in such childish behavior.

Any performing of these ridiculous pranks is on your own conscience, not mine.